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Showing posts with label Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Kamaal Ka Gift
Ek Ladki Ka Birthday Tha.
Uske Boy Friend Ne Pucha: “Bolo Tumhe Kya Gift Chahiye?”
Ladki Apni Aankhon Mein Pyar Bhar Ke Boli: “Janu, Koi Esi Cheez Do Jo Tum De Na Sako Aur Mein Le Na Saku”
Ladka Apni Pant Utar Ke Bola: “Le Meri Gaand Mar Le“
Uske Boy Friend Ne Pucha: “Bolo Tumhe Kya Gift Chahiye?”
Ladki Apni Aankhon Mein Pyar Bhar Ke Boli: “Janu, Koi Esi Cheez Do Jo Tum De Na Sako Aur Mein Le Na Saku”
Ladka Apni Pant Utar Ke Bola: “Le Meri Gaand Mar Le“
Ladki Pasand Aayi?
Baap Apne Bete Ke Ko Leke Rishte Ke Liye Ladki Dekhne Jata Hai
Ladki Samne Aake Beth Jati Hai. Kuch Der Bad Baap Akele Lejake Bete Se Puchta Hai
Baap: “Kyun Beta, Ladki Pasand Aayi?”
Beta: “Papa Ladki To Bahut Moti Hai”
Baap: “Ek Baat Yad Rakhna Beta, Ghar Kitana Bhi Bada Ho, Darwaaja Chota Hi Hota Hai“
Ladki Samne Aake Beth Jati Hai. Kuch Der Bad Baap Akele Lejake Bete Se Puchta Hai
Baap: “Kyun Beta, Ladki Pasand Aayi?”
Beta: “Papa Ladki To Bahut Moti Hai”
Baap: “Ek Baat Yad Rakhna Beta, Ghar Kitana Bhi Bada Ho, Darwaaja Chota Hi Hota Hai“
Khade Kaan
Ladki ladke se keheti hai: “Jub hum ladkiyaan gandi baatein karti hain to tum logon ke kaan kyun khade ho jaate hain?”
Ladka: “Achcha??, to tum log use kaan kehati ho“
Ladka: “Achcha??, to tum log use kaan kehati ho“
SMS Kaha Se Kar Rahe Ho?
Ladka Ladki Raat Ko Phone Pe SMS Chat Kar Rahe Thhe
Ladki Ne Pucha: “SMS Kaha Se Kar Rahe Ho?”
Ladka: “Bedroom Mein Rajai Ke Ander Se.”
Ladki: “Achha?? Waha Bhi Coverage Hota Hai Kya?”
Ladka: “Kyu Nahi? Apna Personal Tower Jo Khada Kar Rakha Hai“
Ladki Ne Pucha: “SMS Kaha Se Kar Rahe Ho?”
Ladka: “Bedroom Mein Rajai Ke Ander Se.”
Ladki: “Achha?? Waha Bhi Coverage Hota Hai Kya?”
Ladka: “Kyu Nahi? Apna Personal Tower Jo Khada Kar Rakha Hai“
Aaj To Main Teri Maa Chod Dunga
Ek Gaanv Ke Anpadh Ladke Ki Shadi Hoti Hai
Suhagrat Ko Kamre Mein Jaata Hai Aur Biwi Se Bolta Hai
Ladka: “Aaj To Main Teri Maa Chod Dunga“
Ladki Khade Hokar Apna Ghagra Uthake Boli
Ladki: “Aur Ise Kya Tera Baap Chodega?“
Suhagrat Ko Kamre Mein Jaata Hai Aur Biwi Se Bolta Hai
Ladka: “Aaj To Main Teri Maa Chod Dunga“
Ladki Khade Hokar Apna Ghagra Uthake Boli
Ladki: “Aur Ise Kya Tera Baap Chodega?“
Rajdhani Express
Pati patni sex kar rahe thhe, pati ko kaafi josh chada hua thha,
Patni: “Zara dheere karo kyu Rajhdhani Express chala rahe ho”
Itne mein unka beta bed se nichhe gir gaya aur bola
“Jo marji chalao par passangers ko to niche mat girao“
Patni: “Zara dheere karo kyu Rajhdhani Express chala rahe ho”
Itne mein unka beta bed se nichhe gir gaya aur bola
“Jo marji chalao par passangers ko to niche mat girao“
Agar ye na kar sako to haar mat maan-na
Nigahon se nigahein mila kar to dekho,
Kabhi kisi ladki ko pata kar to dekho.
Hasratein dil mein dabane se kya fayda,
Apne haathon se zara daba kar to dekho.
Aasmaan simat jayega tumhare aagosh mein,
Ladki ki taangein faila kar to dekho.
Agar ye na kar sako to haar mat maan-na...
Do boonden to zaroor girengi yaaron,
Zara apne lund ko hila kar to dekho.
Kabhi kisi ladki ko pata kar to dekho.
Hasratein dil mein dabane se kya fayda,
Apne haathon se zara daba kar to dekho.
Aasmaan simat jayega tumhare aagosh mein,
Ladki ki taangein faila kar to dekho.
Agar ye na kar sako to haar mat maan-na...
Do boonden to zaroor girengi yaaron,
Zara apne lund ko hila kar to dekho.
Full ticket
Bus Conductor : Bachche ka full ticket lage ga!
Lady : Yeh to abhi nipple chusta hai!
Conductor : Woh to is ka baap bhi choosta hai, to kya uska bhi aadha logi?
Lady : Yeh to abhi nipple chusta hai!
Conductor : Woh to is ka baap bhi choosta hai, to kya uska bhi aadha logi?
3 girls
3 Girls having lunch.
1st said: I saw the condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: I also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: Haramzadi pehle batana tha na !!
1st said: I saw the condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: I also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: Haramzadi pehle batana tha na !!
Gandpatrai
A Bihari GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher, Colonel Smith.
Col. Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) !!
Bihari: Nahi sir, Zyada nahi!!
Col. Smith: Kya ‘zyada nahi’ bolta hai, tumhara application mein likha Hua hai Gand fat rahai.
Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.
Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)?
Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aao, kya ‘kabhi kabhi’ bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.
Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.
The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith’s family asks him to do.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!
Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.
Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai
Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar
Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)…baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga…aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.
Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.
Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.
Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ….jo hukum. After a few days There is no one except
Col.Smith’swife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.So……
Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??
Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.
Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts :
Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!! Ganpatrai :Memsaab…Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega hiiiiiiiiii
Col. Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) !!
Bihari: Nahi sir, Zyada nahi!!
Col. Smith: Kya ‘zyada nahi’ bolta hai, tumhara application mein likha Hua hai Gand fat rahai.
Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.
Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)?
Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aao, kya ‘kabhi kabhi’ bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.
Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.
The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith’s family asks him to do.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!
Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.
Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haai
Ganpatrai : Hukum Sarkaar
Col. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)…baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga…aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.
Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.
Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.
Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ….jo hukum. After a few days There is no one except
Col.Smith’swife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.So……
Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot).
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??
Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.
Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts :
Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!! Ganpatrai :Memsaab…Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega hiiiiiiiiii
Rah Chalte Chutiya Banate Hai Dost
"College Life Se Nikalne Ke Baad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ko Kuch Saalo Baad Apne Bichde Dosto Ki Yaad Aayi To Unhone Ye Sher Arz Kiya. Jo Ki Har Kisi Ko Dil Pe Lagega."
Rah Chalte Chutiya Banate Hai Dost,Pepsi Bol Ke Daru Pilate Hai Dost,
Girlfriend Bol Ke Randiyo Se Milate Hai Dost,
Kuch Bhi Kaho,
Par Yaad Bahut Aate Hai Dost.
Pregnant Lady Ko Dekh Ke Ek Ladki Boli
Pregnant Lady Ko Dekh Ke Ek Ladki Boli.
Ladki: “Lagta Hai Makan Ban Gaya Hai Kirayedaar Bhi Aa Gaya Hai”
Pregnant Lady Boli: “Mistri Bhi Khali Hai Tere Ghar Bhej Doon Kya?“
Ladki: “Lagta Hai Makan Ban Gaya Hai Kirayedaar Bhi Aa Gaya Hai”
Pregnant Lady Boli: “Mistri Bhi Khali Hai Tere Ghar Bhej Doon Kya?“
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